iaymael: (Default)
2016-04-29 08:12 am


I don't know what brought on this existential crisis I seem to be in, but it needs to stop. I really fucking mean it. The dream last night was too much. Just stop. Please.
iaymael: (Default)
2016-03-28 06:24 pm


I don't even really know how to start this, so I am just going to begin.

To whom this specifically concerns,

Thank you. For what, you may ask? Well, let me explain:

I was on my first vacation in years and I was having a wonderful time being away from it all. I was waiting, looking forward to a bit of theater, when you walked in the building and my brain disappeared. You walked over and introduced yourself, and in our short bit of conversation (in which I was desperately hoping I was making sense, as I was screaming at my brain to say something coherent, or even to just sound stupid in English if that was all I could manage; however, at this point my brain was no longer just missing, but had packed its bags and was on a slow boat to Mongolia) you were witty, charming, and even a little goofy. I was, and still am, absolutely gone. I am seriously surprised I wasn't finally told to shut up about you at some point afterwards.

I don't think I have ever been so utterly smitten in such a short amount of time. I mean with less than five minutes of conversation I was contemplating storybook, where's my armour, Don Quixote type stuff . In the next few days, as my brain decided to sneak slowly back home, I began to wonder why I was in the emotional state I was in, as we had interacted for such a short time, and I was beginning to make myself nervous in my search for windmills. Then it hit me. Why you affect me so is that I did not think I had the capacity to project this level of emotion anymore. I have to constantly bury every level of emotion I have in order to function daily safely. I was at a point where I was beginning to contemplate ending up a soulless old fool with no hope for anything. And without knowing, you stepped through a door and utterly destroyed that.

For that I will be eternally grateful.

My sister said that I would fall in love with Baltimore, but to be careful, for it would cut me a little as well. Not in a vicious way, but just to let me know it cared.

May your hopes and dreams come true. May you be loved beyond measure. May your pains and sorrows be few, and may your life be full of joy and happy surprises.
iaymael: (Default)
2016-03-05 09:41 pm


Trying to remember how this editing a new site thing works. Not suceeding.
iaymael: (Default)
2016-02-23 01:58 pm


 I just need to survive the next 2 1/2 weeks. Repeat.
iaymael: (Default)
2016-02-22 10:55 am


 I have finally come to understand just how massive the negative feedback loops in my head are. I am struggling to work past them, but ...damn, they even have me frightened of doing that.

All because I had another dream, with a woman I have had less than 5 minutes of conversation with in real life, not even face to face.

This elf struck shit sucks. 

iaymael: (Default)
2016-02-17 12:34 pm


I just found the matching vanity case to my 1950's faux alligator Samsonite steamer suitcases!

This is going to officially become my shaving case. Why so large a case you ask? Why not just a dopp kit? Besides using it to carry my personal shave stuff (which may be in a dopp kit inside), I am going to get to shave a lady friend's legs (something I have always wanted to do, and not in a drool-snarl kind of way), and I want to have a nice kit to carry the shaving products and things I would need to do so. In the long run I would like to have a variety of products that I could use (towels,various scented or unscented pre and after shaves, soaps, and creams, etc), if it ever get to do her legs again, or anyone else's for that matter.

Yes, I will be over prepared.

This is me we are talking about.
iaymael: (Default)
2016-02-04 03:42 pm

test test

Is this thing on?